Seeing Through the Guru

Are you on a journey that includes studying with a teacher or guru who has the knowledge and experience that you don’t yet have?

Whether our journey is towards freedom, enlightenment, nirvana, heaven, or non-duality, many of us seek an experience with someone we perceive has the knowledge and the expertise to get us up the proverbial mountain. At times we get waylaid on the journey when the hurdle the student encounters is the teacher rather than the teachings. When that happens, confusion reigns. Put another way, all hell breaks loose and the student doesn’t know which way to turn.

Seeing Through the Guru is for students who have found their experience with a teacher or guru to be unsatisfactory and maybe even downright painful, but they don’t know what to do. Does one stay with the teacher? Find another teacher? Argue, defend a point of view, or debate the teacher? Or crawl away defeated because things just didn’t work out?

Perhaps you’ve considered walking away from your teacher even when that’s the last thing on earth you wanted to have happen.

This scenario happens more than is talked about among those who seek a student/teacher relationship and easily lends itself to “revolving-door” behavior: seeking over and over for just the “right” guide to help us fulfill our journey.


I don’t disparage the journey; in fact, I’m all for it! My journey was one of the most profound experiences of my life. It also entailed deep, painful, and confusing relationships with teachers. I studied with various teachers, both human and non-human. My student and apprentice days were long—comprising a period of nearly fifteen years—and entailed formal apprenticeships, forum involvement and leadership, martial arts practice, nature’s teachers (see the first entry in Koans), plant medicines, Dreaming, and extensive writing and reading.

All of it was of value and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Every person’s journey is unique even when encounters with teachers and gurus can feel as though you’ve taken a wrong turn.

Seeing Through the Guru is for those who’ve dipped their toes into the waters of a student/teacher/apprenticeship relationship but have yet to find the match that feels “just right.” It’s also for those students who have already made the dive and found something to be a bit off.

No, this site does not provide a list of approved spiritual teachers. That’s your task: to find someone that is a good match for you! My role is to assist you in how to go about finding that person.

It’s possible to find the teacher, the discipline, the path, or the guru that can act as a building block toward the freedom you seek!


Seeing Through the Guru will provide you with information, guidelines, stories, and services to help you find
the teacher or guru that can best assist you in your journey.

Browse through the website. Ask questions. Make comments.
In this way, your journey may unfold in just such a way to cause deep and profound change within.

About :: Koans :: Signs Of A Guru :: Blog



In 1994, I was licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and immediately put out my shingle as a practicing psychotherapist. At that time, two events occurred that defined my path for the following fifteen years.

First, I entered a psychoanalytic institute to delve into the human mind of memory and emotions. Second, I began reading literature on altering perception, or the ability we have as human beings to determine our own reality based on perceiving with all our senses.

These two ways of looking at the world profoundly impacted my reality—one showed me the confines within a prescribed set of beliefs, and one showed me the world outside of my beliefs. These are two vastly different worlds.

In 2001, I moved to Hawaii to study with a Toltec Nagual (shamanic teacher). I sold everything accumulated over my lifetime as an adult, packed my remaining belongings into seventeen boxes, and showed up at her doorstep.

Desperately, I tried to merge my five previous years of studying the works of Carlos Castaneda with her brand of Toltec thinking. I failed miserably. Devotion to semantics can stall anyone clinging too desperately to a prescribed path.


The Nagual taught me to let go and not hold on so tightly to others’ ideas.

In 2005, I began to write of my experiences within this nether world of perception, awareness, reality, and non-duality. I had come to rely on the spoken word to help determine my reality, but my experiences blew that notion out of the water.

I experienced a world outside of words that was every bit as powerful and every bit as loaded with the capacity for human evolution and healing down to the marrow from which disease springs.

In 2014, I opened Seeing Through the Guru in response to the publishing the story of my apprenticeship with the Toltec Nagual—Carry the Rock: An Apprentice Journey.

My gesture for humanity (an offer of service) is to help you explore your right relationship to teachers, gurus, and leaders as you travel the road to freedom and enlightenment.


Carry the Rock: An Apprentice Journey
A novel about an apprenticeship to a Shaman that ends too soon. While ‘failure’ is viewed as dismal in our society, failure also leads one towards personal expansion.
The Journey Home: Awakening in the Dream
An edited work on the topic of awakening; at it’s core it is a collection of love letters as we travel down the path of discovery.
Encounter with Power A Journey from a Toltec Perspective Of the four stages in mankind’s spiritual development Power holds the greatest appeal. Read here about how Power opens up both liabilities and possibilities in our lives.